Justification 1

Because You Needed to Eat That Whole Pizza by Yourself

I mean, who needs a social life or a functioning liver when you can have a large, cheesy, glorious pie all to yourself? Certainly not you, because you're clearly a functioning member of society.

Subpage: Justification 2: Because You Had to Buy New Socks

Subpage: Justification 3: Because You Spilled Coffee on Your Shirt