Justifications

For the love of all that is caffeinated

I need caffeine because my brain is secretly a raccoon that lives in a dumpster, and it's been 3 days since it last ate.

I'm a functioning member of society, and functioning members of society drink caffeine.

It's scientifically proven that caffeine is 100% effective against zombies, and I'm pretty sure I saw a zombie in my neighbor's house.

I'm allergic to productivity, and caffeine is the only thing that can save me from myself.