Justifications for Whim

Because, let's be honest, you need an excuse for everything. Here's a list of justifications for the most ridiculous things:

• I'm late because the cat is plotting against me.
• I'm not doing my homework because I'm secretly a professional snail trainer.
• I'm not answering your call because I'm on a top-secret spy mission.

And here's a special just-in-case justification for when you really can't think of anything else:

I'm running on fumes, man. I'm a human being. I need a nap.