Brietheism 101: Justifying with Briete How-To
Lesson 1: The Fundamentals
Step 1: Hold your opponent's feet firmly in both hands.
Step 2: Explain that you are not, in fact, arguing with them, but rather, justifying your stance with an air of intellectual superiority.
Step 3: Use the phrase "I'm not arguing, I'm justifying" at least five times.
Step 4: When faced with a valid counterpoint, feign ignorance and claim you never said that.
Step 5: Repeat step 4 until your opponent has lost the will to live.
Lesson 2: Advanced Techniques
Technique #1: The "I'm not a morning person" defense.
This involves claiming that you are not, in fact, a morning person, even if you have been up for 12 hours.
Technique #2: The "I'm just joking" exemption.
Use this to deflect any criticism or blame, and claim that you were "just joking" all along.