Warning: Keys-Induced Hypespeedism is a condition that affects individuals who frequently use their keys in creative, non-traditional ways.

Repeatedly using your keys as a hammer, chisel, or makeshift screwdriver may lead to the development of Keys-Induced Hypespeedism.

• Unintentional damage to surrounding objects
• Unpredictable key-induced velocity spikes
• Uncontrollable urges to type with one's toes

Common symptoms include:

• Frequent need for replacement keys
• Unexplained key-induced whiplash
• Uncontrollable typing speed

If you think you may have Keys-Induced Hypespeedism, seek medical attention immediately.

Practice safe key-use techniques, such as using a keyring and keeping your keys in a secure location.

If your symptoms persist, contact the Keys-Induced Hypespeedism Support Group.