Kraken Help Page

Getting Attacked by a Kraken: A Step-by-Step Guide

Step 1: Don't panic! The Kraken is just trying to make a living.

Step 2: Swim away slowly and calmly, but don't splash any nearby sailors.

Step 3: Offer the Kraken a decent seafood platter as a peace offering, preferably with some spicy tuna.

Kraken Etiquette

Tip 1: Always address the Kraken as "Lord Tentacles" or "Your Cephalopod Majesty".

Tip 2: Never, ever, EVER touch the Kraken's tentacles. Trust us, you don't want to.

Learn more Kraken Etiquette!

Common Kraken Complaints

Problem 1: My tentacles are too tight! Solution: Stretch it out with some quality seaweed.

Problem 2: The ship is too close! Solution: Find a new cave, stat!

Read more about Kraken problems!

That's all for now, sailors. Good luck, and try not to get eaten!

Kraken Safety Tips Back to the Main Kraken Page (Note: The above HTML code is a basic example of a Kraken help page with a brutalist aesthetic. It includes links to subpages for further reading.)