SATURDAY
Highlights from the weekend:
- Someone, presumably you, wore a chicken costume to a family gathering. Congratulations, or condolences.
- The world's largest ball of twine was destroyed by a stray kitten. We're not sure what that says about society.
- A new species of sentient, disco-dancing bacteria was discovered in a local pond. Because, reasons.
Stay tuned for next week's edition! Or don't, we won't judge you.
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