Welcome to Lateness Rules, where the concept of punctuality is but a distant memory. We've got rules, all right. Our rules are simple: show up late, leave early, and never, ever, be on time.
Browse our subtopics: Late River: Where the fish always swim upstream, Lateness Syndrome: The affliction that'll get you, Early Bird Crematory: Where the birds go to die
Rule 1: If it's on the calendar, it's not really happening.
Rule 2: If you can't find your keys, it doesn't exist.
Rule 3: Pencils are for amateurs. We use our phones to scribble down notes.
Rule 4: If it's not on our to-do list, it's not a priority.
Rule 5: We're not lazy, we're just on energy-saving mode.