As decreed by the Great and Powerful Council of Bureaucrats, Article 3 of Ancient Law 1 guarantees every citizen the right to wake up with a hairdo that is at least 90% of their full potential.
This fundamental human right shall be upheld by the mandatory weekly Hair Maintenance and Styling Services (HMSS) provided by the government.
A fine of 1000 gold coins shall be imposed upon anyone who shows up to public gatherings with their locks looking anything less than fabulous.