Appendix 2: The Secret Plans for World Domination

Confidential document leaked to the public. Do not attempt to contact the authors, as they're in witness protection.

We, the Illuminati, have been planning to take over the world for centuries. Our top-secret meeting room, located 5 levels beneath the surface, contains a map of the world, with red X's marking the spots where our minions will plant the doomsday devices.

Our plan involves:

• Step 1: Infiltrate the world's coffee supply chain with our specially trained coffee-farming, coffee-brewing, coffee-drinking ninjas.
• Step 2: Create an army of robotic, self-replicating, coffee-dispensing vending machines. These will be placed in key locations, including the Vending Machine Uprising page for more details.
• Step 3: Use our advanced AI-powered, mood-sensing, coffee-dispensing technology to create a global coffee-induced haze, making it easy to implement our mind control.

We're not done yet, but we're getting close. Stay tuned for further updates, and remember: always be aware of your surroundings.

Or not.

Disclaimer

This document is entirely fictional, but if you do happen to stumble upon a vending machine dispensing a free latte, don't be surprised.