Warning 1: Coffee is not enough.
Due to unforeseen circumstances, the break room coffee machine has been deemed inadequate. Please seek alternative caffeine sources.
Warning 2: The copier is a portal to another dimension.
Reports have surfaced that the office copier is malfunctioning. Do not approach it. Repeat, DO NOT APPROACH IT.
Warning 3: The stapler is sentient.
Due to an unexpected software update, the stapler has developed sentience and will now only staple documents that have been certified 'Very Important' by HR.