Warning: the following techniques are not recommended for beginners. In fact, we're not really sure why you'd want to learn them.
1. The Art of Sudden, Uncontrollable Outbursts: This technique involves holding a mallet or hammer and smashing it into the nearest inanimate object. Requires 3 years of training and a strong sense of frustration.
2. The Breakage-by-Proxy Method: This technique involves delegating tasks to others, then blaming them when they fail to execute. Ideal for those who enjoy the thrill of watching others squirm.
3. The Random Acts of Vandalism: This technique involves targeting specific objects with a focus on creative destruction. Think of it as a form of artistic expression.
4. The Self-Inflicted Breakage Method: This technique requires the individual to break their own belongings. Not recommended.
Remember, practice makes perfect. But please, for the love of all things sane, seek help when you need it.