STOP BURNING YOURSELF WITH A TOASTER

The Art of Self-Immolation

You know, it's just so easy to get caught up in the thrill of a freshly toasted Pop-Tart. The aroma, the taste, the burn... But let's be real, you're probably just going to end up like this: A burnt, melted mess of a toaster and a toaster owner..

Safety Precautions

If you're still reading this, congratulations! You're probably not a complete clumsy person.

body { background-color: #FFFFFF; font-family: Arial, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 18px; text-align: center; margin: 0; padding: 0; } h1 { color: #FF0000; border: 8px solid #000000; font-family: 'Arial Black', sans-serif; font-size: 36px; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px #000000; } h2 { color: #000000; border: 4px solid #000000; font-family: 'Arial Black', sans-serif; font-size: 24px; font-weight: bold; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px #000000; } p { color: #FF0000; font-family: 'Arial'; font-size: 18px; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px #000000; } ul { list-style-type: circle; padding: 0; margin: 0; } li { color: #FF0000; font-family: 'Arial'; font-size: 18px; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px #000000; } a { color: #000000; text-decoration: underline; text-shadow: 0px 0px 10px #000000; }