Learn the basics, or so I've heard.
Variables: Because Variables Are Hard
Loops: The Only Thing You'll Actually Use
For Loops: Because You Like Lists
Functions: Because You're a Fancy Pants
Conditionals: The Only Reason We Haven't Sent You to an Island Yet
Arrays: Because You Clearly Need a Lot of Help
That's it. Don't bother me with the details.
Go forth and code, or don't. I don't really care.