Soul Selling Statements

Today, I pledge to:

Wear my best scarf to work on Legday
Eat an entire pizza by myself, because that's what Legday is all about
Use only emojis in all professional communication, because efficiency
Write 500-word essays on the meaning of emojis, because that's just what we all want to do with our time

May my soul be sold to the highest bidder. May I be granted the strength to wear this stupid scarf all day long.

🤦‍♂️