Article 1: All official government documents and publications shall feature a minimum of two bright, primary colors on every page.
Article 2: All official government buildings shall have a minimum of 3-foot tall, black, pixelated letters on every wall, proclaiming the virtues of our glorious nation.
Article 3: The national anthem shall be performed daily at precisely 3:14 PM, with a minimum of 5 decibel increase in volume over the national standard.
In cases where international diplomacy is involved, Article 1 may be waived, but only if the colors chosen are a 1:1 ratio of primary and secondary colors.
Read more about Subsection B: Exceptions for Artistic Expression
In cases where artistic expression is involved, Article 2 may be waived, but only if the pixelated letters are at least 5 feet tall and made of pure, unadulterated, recycled plastic.
Read more about Subsection C: Exceptions for National Security