The Lesser Prophets

About Us

Meet the prophets who didn't quite make it to the big leagues. The ones who got stuck in the minor leagues of prophecy, forced to predict mundane events like "it's going to rain tomorrow" or "the bus will be delayed." They're not exactly the most sought-after prognosticators, but they're trying their best, bless their hearts.

We have a team of 5 prophets, each with their own unique style and skillset.

Prophet #1: Bob

Bob is our resident "I told you so" prophet. He's always right, but only after everyone else has already figured it out.

Learn more about Bob

Prophet #2: Larry

Larry is our resident weatherman. He's got a 50/50 chance of predicting rain or shine, which is about as good as it gets.

Learn more about Larry

Prophet #3: Steve

Steve is our resident expert on everything that's about to happen in 5 minutes. He's got a 90% accuracy rate for predicting what you're going to be doing in the next 5 minutes.

Learn more about Steve

Prophet #4: Diane

Diane is our resident expert on everything that's already happened. She's got a 100% accuracy rate for predicting everything that's already occurred.

Learn more about Diane

Prophet #5: Tim

Tim is our resident expert on nothing at all. He's got a 0% accuracy rate, but he's always good for a laugh.

Learn more about Tim
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