Level 5 Upgrade: The Ultimate in Futility

Congratulations, you've finally reached the pinnacle of mediocrity! You've upgraded to Level 5, where the only thing you're upgrading is your own sense of despair.

Upgrade to Level 6: The Pointlessness of Existence

Or, you know, just go to Level 6

Here's what you'll get prophets of bane:

• More ads
• More bugs
• A 10% chance of spontaneously combustions

But wait, there's more! With Level 6, you'll also get:

• A new and improved "I'm a failure" button on your resume
• A complimentary subscription to the "I'm a loser" newsletter
• And a 50% chance of being asked to do actual work

Upgrade to Level 7: The Despair