"I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm doing it.
"I am a prophet of doom, with a beard of doom, in a land of doom.
"Prophet Zara's Guide to Not Knowing What's Going On: Chapter 1 - The Chapter Where I Pretend I Have a Plan."
"I've been prophesied to be great, but also to be terrible, so I guess I'll just wing it."
"Prophets are just like therapists, but with more beards and less couches."
"I'm not a morning person, but I'm a prophet, so I have to do this."
"Prophet Zara's Law of the Jungle: If it moves, it's a problem. If it doesn't move, it's a challenge."
"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV, and also on the radio, and on the internet, but not really."
"I'm a prophet of the future, but the future is not looking bright, unless you count 'bright pink' as a color, then it's looking very bright."