Warning: the following report may cause dizziness, disorientation, or spontaneous combustion.
January: The Great Coffee Spill of '21
In a shocking turn of events, 37 employees at the local coffee shop suffered burns, scalds, and severe caffeine withdrawal when the CEO decided to "reorganize" the break room.
February: The Great Sock Drawer Conundrum
Due to a freak incident involving a rogue sock drawer and a malfunctioning toaster, 14 residents at the local nursing home required emergency surgery.
March: The Great Cheese Fiasco
A well-intentioned but ill-fated attempt to "rebrand" the cafeteria's mac 'n cheese resulted in 23 cases of food poisoning and 1 near-death experience.
...and so it continues...
Stay tuned for the rest of the report, but be warned: it's about to get even worse...