At Lost at Sea, we guarantee that you'll never find your way back to shore. Our expertly trained (not really) navigators will guide you through a maze of confusion and despair. But don't worry, we'll make sure you're well-equipped with an extensive collection of useless maps, a pocket full of rocks, and a strong sense of existential dread.
- Unlimited access to our patented "I'm Lost" therapy sessions
- Free use of our state-of-the-art "I Told You So" compass
- A complimentary "I'm a Bad Navigator" certificate upon completion of our program
Fine print: Our guarantee only applies to customers who actually get lost. If you're just looking for a nice day at the beach, we're not responsible.
Also, don't bother trying to sue us. We're on a boat, and the water is really, really deep.
Want to see more of our guarantees?