Limited Testimony, Unlimited Regrets

Confessions of a Sailor Who Spilled His Beer in the Caribbean

So, you want to know my secrets? I'll tell you, but don't go telling everyone, okay? I was at the beach bar on Tortuga Island, and I might've had a few too many island specials. The last thing I remember, I was telling the bartender, "I'm not drunk, I'm just allergic to mornings." Next thing, I'm waking up in a hammock with a seagull on my chest, and I'm pretty sure I've got a sunburn that's going to last till next Tuesday.

Related Tales from the High Seas:

Over the Rail | Pleading the Fifth | Just Plain Drunkenness
Back to the Main Mast Next Island, Same Story I'll Take My Chances, I'll Take My Stand (and My Drink)

Note: This is neither a real nor an officially recognized form of confession or therapy. Please do not try this at home. Or on a boat. Or anywhere near the equator.