"I tried to start a successful chicken farm, but all I ended up with was a coop full of angry, feathered monsters that chased me around the yard with their beaks." - Bubba McFowlerson
"I tried to order pizza, but the delivery guy brought me a bunch of balloons instead. I was so hungry, I ate them. Now I have a stomach full of helium and I think I'm going to float away." - Chuck McFadden
"I tried to make a fancy sauce for my spaghetti, but I ended up with a sauce that was 99% ketchup and 1% regret. Now my taste buds are crying themselves to sleep every night." - Steve Soggybottom
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