Love Is A Disease

Why Did You Get Dumped?

It's because you're a toxic waste of human existence. Seriously, what did you do to deserve love?

I'm a serial killer of relationships! I'm like a one-man plague.

I'm allergic to intimacy. My skin breaks out in painful, itchy sores whenever someone gets too close.

You can't. You're trash. But hey, at least you're consistent.

I'm willing to do ANYTHING to get my ex back, including selling my car, getting a second job, and learning to cook.

I'll even become a professional snail trainer to get back my ex's attention.