Acts of Service: A Guide to Wooing with Utter Ridicule

Welcome, lovelorn, to the definitive guide on how to treat your significant other like the utter disappointment they are.

Here are a few acts of service that are sure to make your partner question their life choices:

1. Leave the toilet seat up, but not just any ordinary toilet seat - make it a toilet seat of shame.
2. Buy a year's supply of their least favorite snack, then hoard it in the pantry.
3. Learn to play the kazoo, then play it nonstop during family gatherings.

But wait, there's more! Check out our other subpages for more acts of service, including:

• Buying Their Favorite Songs on Streaming (Again and Again)
• Moving Their Stuff Around the Neighborhood for Them
• Leaving Their Pants on the Floor for a Week

Or, if all else fails, just give up and buy them a timeshare in Boca Raton. They'll never leave you.