Techniques for the Clinically Fragile

Warning: the following techniques may cause excessive eye-rolling and existential crisis in those who are not prepared.

Technique 1: The Art of Procrastination

Procrastination by Proxy

Find a task that is marginally related to the actual task, but has an equally high likelihood of never being completed.

Example: If you're supposed to write a report, spend 3 hours researching a tangentially related Wikipedia article instead.

Link to: Advanced Procrastination

Technique 2: The Power of Self-Deception

Tell Yourself You're Not Really a Bad Teacher

Tell yourself that your students are just not smart enough, or that you're just not good at teaching, or that the subject matter is inherently boring.

Link to: Justifying Your Incompetence

Technique 3: The Art of Sarcasm

Turn Sarcasm into an Art Form

Use sarcasm to make your students question their own existence and the meaning of life.

Example: "Oh great, another exciting lesson on quadratic equations. Can't wait for the thrilling conclusion!"

Link to: Sarcasm as a Weapon

Remember, these techniques are not mutually exclusive, and can be combined in creative ways to achieve maximum fragility.

Link to: More Techniques for the Fragile Teacher