Prolonged Procrastination Protection Services

Expert Spellbinders at Your Service

We'll make sure you waste more time than ever before!

Our services include:

• Time dilation consulting: We'll help you find new ways to delay tasks indefinitely.
• Procrastination spellcasting: Our expert bards will weave powerful spells to keep you stuck in a cycle of endless distractions.
• Temporal displacement: We'll transport you to alternate realities where deadlines and responsibilities don't exist.

Don't let the pressures of the real world get you down! Let us help you find the time and motivation to do absolutely nothing.