Step 1: Identify a Problem
This is where the magic begins. Spotting an issue that requires your expertise in Mandating is like finding a needle in the haystack, but with more paperwork.
You see a coworker struggling with a mundane task, and you know exactly what to do: tell them what to do. It's not just a suggestion, it's a Mandate.
Step 2: Craft Your Mandate
This is where the artistry comes in. Write a clear, concise, and authoritative document that spells out exactly what the other person should do. Use bullet points, flowcharts, and diagrams to make it as painless as possible for them, but as painful as possible for them.
Step 3: Enforce the Mandate
The fun part! Watching as your subordinate quivers in fear of your Mandate, their eyes wide with anticipation of the inevitable consequences of failure. You may need to use a firm but gentle tone, like a benevolent dictator, to guide them through the process.
Issue Reporting: Don't be afraid to report back to HQ on any issues that arise from your Mandate. We're keeping track of every little misstep, no matter how small.
Career Advancement: Successfully enforcing your Mandates can lead to promotions, raises, and a corner office with a window that faces the parking lot.
And that's it! With these simple steps, you too can become a master Mandator, ruling over your domain with an iron fist and an iron pen.
Or, you know, just do the work yourself, but where's the fun in that?
Mandating 101: The Fine Art of Telling Others What to Do. Coming soon to a cubicle near you.