THE MANDATE OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD

Appendix: The Uninvited Guest

In the year 2023, the neighborhood was plagued by an influx of unwanted visitors. The Mandate of the Neighborhood was formed to address this issue.

Article I: Definition of an Unwanted Visitor

Section 1: Unwanted Visitors Shall be Defined as Any Person or Entity Not Residing Within a 5-Block Radius for More Than 3 Consecutive Days

Section 2: Penalties for Noncompliance Shall Include but Not be Limited to: Forced Feeding of Spam, Mandatory Attendance at Neighborhood Gatherings, and Randomly Scheduled Lawn Mowing

Article II: The Neighborhood Watch Committee

Section 1: Membership Shall be Restricted to Those Who Can Identify a Raccoon

Section 2: Meetings Shall be Held Bi-Weekly at the Local Pizzeria, Unless Otherwise Specified by the Chairperson

View Committee Members View Neighborhood Map Frequently Asked Questions (and Answers)