Property Values in Suburbia: A Cautionary Tale

Where the Grass is Always Greener (and So Are the Pools)

Suburbia: a place where the value of a property is directly correlated to the number of lawn ornaments. Yes, you heard that right. The more gaudy, the more valuable. It's like a never-ending parade of tacky treasures, each one a reflection of the owner's desperate grasp on middle-class dignity.

But be warned, Suburbia is a neighborhood of contrasts. Where the sun always shines brightly, but the neighbors always whisper about your lawn.