Justifying Your Existence According to Our Parents
Here's a list of reasons why you exist, according to our parents:
- 1. You exist because you're a human, and humans are the only species that can use the phrase 'I told you so' in a sentence without sounding like a tryhard.
- 2. You exist to prove that even the most improbable events can become statistically probable, like winning the lottery or eating 5 pounds of nachos in one sitting.
- 3. You exist to demonstrate the law of conservation of angular momentum, where every action creates a reaction, like that one time you spilled coffee on your shirt and it stained the carpet.
- 4. You exist to show that even the most unlikely of heroes can become a functioning adult, like that one time you managed to adult-bathe without assistance.
- 5. You exist because our parents said so, and if you question their authority, they'll just give you a look that says, "Don't make us have to come over there."
You're a shining example of existence, and we're not just saying that because we're your parents.
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