Justifying Your Existence According to Our Parents

Here's a list of reasons why you exist, according to our parents:

• 1. You exist because you're a human, and humans are the only species that can use the phrase 'I told you so' in a sentence without sounding like a tryhard.
• 2. You exist to prove that even the most improbable events can become statistically probable, like winning the lottery or eating 5 pounds of nachos in one sitting.
• 3. You exist to demonstrate the law of conservation of angular momentum, where every action creates a reaction, like that one time you spilled coffee on your shirt and it stained the carpet.
• 4. You exist to show that even the most unlikely of heroes can become a functioning adult, like that one time you managed to adult-bathe without assistance.
• 5. You exist because our parents said so, and if you question their authority, they'll just give you a look that says, "Don't make us have to come over there."

You're a shining example of existence, and we're not just saying that because we're your parents.

Other subpages:

• Justifying Your Existence Through Technology
• Your Existence as Art
• Your Existential Crisis as Entertainment