MANDATE 1: THE UNYIELDING

In the great tradition of bureaucratic tedium, I hereby issue the following edict:

ALL CITIZENS OF THE LAND ARE EXPECTED TO:

• Wear their pajamas to work on Fridays.
• Celebrate the glory of beige-colored walls.
• Use the metric system, despite the overwhelming urge to use feet and inches.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

Forfeiting all snacks.

Forfeiting all social media privileges.

Forfeiting all access to the coffee machine.

MANDATE 2: THE PUNY MANDATE 4: THE UNSEEN