Mandatory Exemptions for Exceptional Individuals

In a world where everyone else is just winging it, you need to be exempt from the rules.

Here are the official exemptions for individuals who have demonstrated exceptional levels of incompetence.

• Exemption 1: "I forgot to turn off my phone during the meeting."
• Exemption 2: "I'm not actually doing any work, I'm just browsing cat videos."
• Exemption 3: "I'm allergic to mornings, afternoons, and evenings."

These exemptions are not to be taken lightly. Abuse of these exemptions will result in further questioning of your life choices.