Mandate-gram 2024-04-01-02

Breaking news: our overlords have decreed that today's mandate shall be to eat more cake. We've compiled the top 5 cake-related decrees from the Ministry of Bureaucracy:

Article 1: Cake shall henceforth be the official state dessert, replacing the outdated and plebeian pie.
Article 2: All citizens are required to eat cake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to: cake-withdrawal, cake-rationing, and cake-nalysts' visits.
Article 3: The color of cake shall be redefined to include, but not be limited to: chartreuse, lavender, and burnt sienna.
Article 4: A new national holiday, Cake Day, shall be established on the spring equinox. All citizens are expected to participate by baking, eating, and worshiping cake.
Article 5: The Ministry of Bureaucracy has decreed that cake shall be served at all official government functions, including but not limited to: press conferences, cabinet meetings, and state funerals.

For more information on the Cake Initiative, visit our sister site: cake-initiative-2024-04-01

Or, for a more in-depth analysis of the Ministry of Bureaucracy's decision-making process, see: ministry-bureaucracy-decision-tree-2024-04-01

And, for the latest on Cake Day celebrations, follow us on: cake-day-2024-04-01