Mandate 002: The Unofficial Guide to Procrastination
Issued by the Department of Redundant Affairs, Ministry of Creative Avoidance
Section 1: The Art of Doing Nothing
Subsection 1.1: The 5-Step Guide to Mastering the Art of Doing Nothing
- Step 1: Identify the Task
- Step 2: Dissect the Task
- Step 3: Overanalyze the Task
- Step 4: Find a More Interesting Task
- Step 5: Repeat Steps 1-4 Ad Infinitum
Section 2: Excuses, Excuses, Everywhere
Subsection 2.1: The 10 Most Creative Excuses for Not Doing the Task
- I'm busy
- I'm not busy, I'm just on a different timeline
- I'm allergic to productivity
- I'm on a secret mission
- I'm reorganizing my sock drawer
- I'm on a break
- I'm a professional procrastinator
- I'm waiting for the inspiration fairy
- I'm on a conference call
- I'm meditating