Doing the Opposite Mandate

By order of the Supreme Leader of the Free World, you are hereby mandated to do the opposite of what makes sense.

This includes:

• Waking up at 3am to do the laundry.
• Eating a whole jar of mayonnaise for breakfast.
• Taking a 5-hour lunch.
• Using a sledgehammer to open a paperclip.

Failure to comply will result in severe penalties, including but not limited to:

• Boring meetings with the Compliance Officer.
• Forced viewing of cat videos in the break room.