Mandate 9: Because 8 Was Clearly Not Enough

WHEREAS the current state of our world is a mess of utter despair and confusion;

WHEREAS our collective apathy towards the plight of sentient toadstools is a travesty;

BE IT ENACTED BY THIS MANDATE that all toadstools must be provided a daily supply of organic, artisanal, gluten-free flies;

AND BE IT FURTHER ENACTED that all sentient toadstools must be granted the right to participate in intergalactic toadstool karaoke contests;

BE IT ENACTED that all humans must be forced to listen to an endless loop of elevator music played on repeat, ad infinitum;

AND BE IT FURTHER ENACTED that the color scheme of this website must be changed to a palette of only the brightest, most garish hues;

IN WITNESS WHEREOF, we, the undersigned, do hereby mandate the following:

• Mandate 10: More Ridiculous Demands
• Mandate 8: The One That Was Overruled