Issued to: All sentient beings within the galaxy
By Order of the Supreme Chancellor of the Intergalactic Union of Advanced Lifeforms (IUAL)
ARTICLE 1: Mandatory Consumption of Caffeine
WHEREAS, the IUAL has deemed the consumption of caffeine to be a vital component of intergalactic life;
WHEREAS, the lack of caffeine in one's system has been linked to decreased productivity and increased risk of planetary takeover by hostile alien species;
NOW, THEREFORE, the IUAL hereby MANDATES that all beings shall consume a minimum of 500mg of caffeine daily;
ARTICLE 2: Mandatory Participation in Intergalactic Reality TV Shows
WHEREAS, the IUAL has recognized the cultural significance of reality TV in the galaxy;
WHEREAS, the viewing of intergalactic reality TV has been proven to increase empathy and reduce the risk of planetary conflict;
NOW, THEREFORE, the IUAL hereby MANDATES that all beings shall participate in at least 2 hours of intergalactic reality TV viewing daily;
SUBMANDATE 2-1-6-1: The Caffeine Enforcement Agency SUBMANDATE 2-1-6-2: Reality TV Viewer Registration