Section 1: The Mandate in Question
The Mandate 3-1-1-2 is a sweeping decree that has brought balance to the universe. It is a shining beacon of justice, equality, and utter domination.
By the power vested in us, we, the Mandates, hereby mandate that all sentient beings within a 5-light year radius of this planet shall be required to wear funny hats on Tuesdays.
Section 2: Enforcement
A special task force, known as the "Hats and Hounds," has been formed to ensure the compliance of Mandate 3-1-1-2. They are an elite group of agents, armed with an arsenal of silly string and an unwavering commitment to the mandate.
Reports of non-compliance shall be handled with extreme prejudice and the utmost severity of fines and penalties, including but not limited to, the revocation of all snacks and privileges.
Section 3: Repercussions
The effects of Mandate 3-1-1-2 have been nothing short of miraculous. The once-chaotic universe has been transformed into a utopia of harmony and order.
However, some have noted that the mandate's requirements have led to an increase in hat-related stress disorder and the rise of the "I'm-Too-Busy-For-Hats" movement.