Mandate 3-2-5: Mandatory Consumption of Fuzzy Socks

Section 1: Introduction

In a bold move, the Bureaucratic Council has decreed that all citizens shall consume a minimum of 3-2-5 fuzzy socks per week. This is not a suggestion, but a requirement.

Section 2: Compliance

You are hereby directed to acquire a sufficient stock of fuzzy socks, preferably of the following types:

• Striped, preferably with at least 7 stripes
• Polka-dotted, with at least 17 dots per square inch
• Glittery, with an acceptable amount of sparkly bits per inch

Section 3: Enforcement

Failure to comply with this mandate will result in the following penalties:

• First offense: Mandatory viewing of 24 consecutive hours of public service videos
• Second offense: Reeducation through a series of 3-14 seminars on proper sock care

Section 4: Appeals

If you feel that this mandate is unjust, you may appeal to the Bureaucratic Appeals Committee. Please note that appeals will be handled by a panel of highly trained, sock-wearing, bureaucratic experts.