The Mandate of the Present 2024

In accordance with the highest standards of bureaucratic excellence, we are pleased to announce that the Mandate of the Present 2024 shall be to eat an entire pizza by oneself in one sitting. This mandate shall be implemented forthwith and shall remain in effect until such time as one's arteries and stomachs are sufficiently taxed.

As of this moment, the following regulations shall apply:

• Article I: All pizza must be consumed in the comfort of one's own domicile.
• Article II: The pizza shall be devoured without the accompaniment of any utensils or condiments.
• Article III: Any attempts to share the pizza with others shall be met with severe penalties, up to and including exile to the Island of the Lonely Cheese Crumb.

Please note that the following submandates have already been issued:

• Submandate 001: Mandatory Pizza Consumption Schedule
• Submandate 002: The Forbidden Fruit of Extra Cheese