By the power vested in me, I, the Supreme Bureaucrat, hereby decree:
Article 1: All citizens shall wear plaid on Fridays.
Article 2: No one shall utter the phrase "I'm fine" in the presence of others, lest they be subject to re-education.
Article 3: The color blue shall not be used in any design without a valid permit.
Any violations of these submandates shall be punishable by the full force of the law.