WHEREAS, the council has been convened to make a decision of great import, we, the members, have instead opted for a resolution of utmost blandness;
BE IT RESOLVED, that the color of the walls in the conference room shall be painted a dull beige;
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that the coffee machine in the break room shall be replaced with a vending machine filled with stale air and disappointment;
WHEREAS, the previous resolution has been deemed insufficiently exciting, the council hereby declares that this decision shall be celebrated with a cake made of cardboard and regret;
IT IS HEREBY ORDERED, that all members of the council shall attend a meeting to discuss the finer points of this resolution, and that said meeting shall be held on a Friday at 3:14 PM.