Mandatory Vacation Policies

As per our company policy, you are required to take 4 weeks off with pay to contemplate the meaning of life, the universe, and your place in it.

Duration: 28 days

Frequency: Once a year, on the 15th day of the 7th month

During this time, you will be expected to:

• Re-read the collected works of Friedrich Nietzsche
• Practice your best rendition of the tango
• Take long walks on the beach
• Engage in deep conversations with your reflection in the mirror

Failure to comply will result in severe consequences, including but not limited to:

• Termination of employment
• Loss of all accrued vacation hours
• Forced reassignment to the mail room

Don't worry, it's not that bad, really. You'll get a 4th floor office with a view.

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