The Unapologetic Manifesto of a Post-Ironic, Hyper-Caffeinated Artist

Article 1: I will not be swayed by the whims of the bourgeoisie. My art shall be bold, unrelenting, and occasionally smell of burnt coffee.

Article 2: The only thing more precious than my craft is the craft itself. I shall spend all my waking hours honing my skills, much to the chagrin of those around me.

Article 3: I do not believe in the concept of "enough." My creative well shall never be dry, nor shall my supply of artisanal, small-batch coffee beans ever run low.

Article 4: I will not be silenced by the naysayers and doubters. My voice shall be heard, my work shall be seen, and my art shall be bought.

Article 5: I shall not rest until my art has changed the world, or at least until I have finished my current project. Whichever comes first.

For more of my scathing critiques of the art world:

The Art School Scandals

The Most Ridiculous Art Controversies of the 21st Century

What Makes My Art So Special, and Why You Should Care