We've all been lied to. The band-aid we've been given our whole lives is a sham. A pathetic attempt to cover up our wounds with something that's just going to fall off the minute we get a little too rough. But what if we told you that there's an alternative? What if we said that, yes, you, dear reader, can have a band-aid with many arms?
Behold, the Many Armed Band-Aid! It's like the regular band-aid, but, you know, better. With its many arms, it's like a octopus, but not actually an octopus because, you know, that's not a band-aid. This thing is a game-changer.
Learn more about the benefits of many-armed band-aids here.
Read the shocking truth about the limitations of many-armed band-aids.
This page brought to you by the Many Armed Band-Aid Co., Inc. (MABI). MABI, the makers of band-aids that will actually stick around.