Executive Summary of the Many-Armed Band-Aid Situation

Current Status:

The Many-Armed Band-Aid is still in a state of flux. The CEO has been spotted eating a single, lone tortellini in the break room, sparking rumors of a full-blown corporate coup.

Key Issues:

1. The band-aid's 37th arm has been deemed "unreliable" and will be replaced with a more efficient, 4-armed model.

2. The company's health insurance policy now includes coverage for "excessive limb growth." Side effects may include: increased productivity, reduced flexibility, or a strong desire to strangle your coworkers.

3. The cafeteria has been renamed "The Wound Ward" and features a special "Band-Aid-themed" menu, including "Bleeding Gastrointestinal Issues" soup and "Laceration Lasagna."

Arms Race: A Deep Dive into the Band-Aid's Many Arms