Warning: These exercises are not for the faint of heart (or brain). Proceed with caution.
1. Buy a bigger brain - This exercise involves purchasing a larger brain to fit all the unnecessary thoughts and ideas that are cluttering your current one.
2. Learn to Let Go - Practice releasing your attachments to things that are holding you back. Like your old college degree, your ex's social media posts, or that one weird cousin.
3. Develop Healthy Skepticism - Train to question everything, including the existence of the universe.
4. Engage in Repetitive Thinking - Focus on repeating the same thoughts over and over until you've memorized them, like your favorite motivational quote or the entire script of 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind'.
5. Ignore the Oddballs - Ignore anyone who's not as smart as you, or at least pretend to. It's a great way to conserve mental energy.
6. Make Something Irrelevant - Create something completely useless, like a poem about the color blue or a painting of a chair.
7. Practice the Art of Procrastination - Learn to delay your tasks until they're no longer important or feasible. It's a delicate art form.
8. Develop a Philosophy of Just Plain Stupid - Create a system of thought that's completely devoid of logic or reason.
9. Learn to Not Care - Train yourself to be completely disinterested in anything that doesn't directly benefit you.
10. Forget What You Learned - Practice forgetting all the things you've learned, like the names of your children or the plot of 'The Godfather'.
Remember, mental blockage is like a muscle, and like any other muscle, it needs exercise. Or maybe it's just a myth, and you'll end up in therapy.
Buy a bigger brain to continue.