What's the Point of This Page?

Here's a collection of testimonials from our esteemed clients, who, for some reason, decided to pay us for this.

Our client, Bob, had a great time paying us money for nothing!

I paid the Meaninglessness Consultation firm a small fortune to learn the meaning of life, but what did I get? A bunch of empty words and an existential crisis.

10/10, would not recommend.

Our client, Alice, had a great time paying us money for the meaning of life!

I paid the Meaninglessness Consultation firm a small fortune and all I got was a bunch of words that kinda sorta maybe possibly made sense in a very abstract way.

7/10, would not recommend, but only because the font was too small.

Our client, Chuck, had the most fulfilling experience of his life with our services!

I paid the Meaninglessness Consultation firm to learn the meaning of life, and now I'm just a shell of my former self, but at least I'm consistent.

5/10, would not recommend, but only because I'm a shell.

Our client, Steve, had a great time paying us money for our services!

I paid the Meaninglessness Consultation firm to learn the meaning of life, but all I got was a bunch of words that were kinda sorta maybe kinda like words.

4/10, would not recommend, but only because I'm still trying to remember what I learned.

Clients We Serve (or Don't)

We serve the lost, the confused, and the moderately wealthy. Our services are tailored to make you question your life choices.

Meet Bob, our most loyal client!

Meet Alice, our most bewildered client!

Meet Chuck, our most... shell-like client!

Meet Steve, our most forgetful client!

Meet Bob, Our Most Loyal Client!

Bob paid us $10,000 for the meaning of life, but all he got was a bunch of words that kinda sorta maybe possibly made sense in a very abstract way.

He's been coming back for more, because why stop, right?

Meet Alice, Our Most Bewildered Client!

Alice paid us $20,000 for the meaning of life, but all she got was a bunch of words that kinda sorta maybe possibly made sense in a very abstract way.

She's still trying to find the meaning, but it's getting harder and harder, like finding the end of a never-ending hallway.

Meet Chuck, Our Most... Shell-Like Client!

Chuck paid us $30,000 for the meaning of life, but now he's just a shell of his former self, literally.

He's stuck in this existential shell, and we're not really sure how to help him.

Meet Steve, Our Most Forgetful Client!

Steve paid us $40,000 for the meaning of life, but now he's just trying to remember what he did with the money.

He's been to therapy, but it's just not working.