As a seasoned meditator, you know that the key to enlightenment is not thinking about it at all. That's right, just don't think. It's like that time you tried to remember what you did last Tuesday. You can't. It's a blank slate. A tabula rasa. A Zen koan waiting to be solved.
So, here's the technique: sit in a lotus position, close your eyes, and just... don't. Don't think about your to-do list, your cat's hairball, or your aunt's questionable life choices. Just don't. You'll get there. Eventually. Or not.
For more advanced practitioners, try the "I'm not even thinking about it, no really, not even a little" technique. It's like a meditation within a meditation. A meta-meditation. A meditation-ception.
Want to try the "I'm a rock, just a rock" technique? It's like, you know, just be a rock. A rock that's just sitting there, not thinking about anything. A rock that's just... not thinking. At all.
Technique 3: The Art of Not Caring About Your Toes Technique 1: The Art of Not Remembering Your Password